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It’s been two and a half months since my dog/best friend Usnea passed. I miss him every day in a deep way. Losing him has gotten me to feel things I didn't know I was capable of feeling. Someone told me grief has a way of distilling what’s important. Someone else told me that grief never goes away, but the rest of your scope gets bigger. But one thing nobody ever told me is: no one understands anyone else’s grief. Grief lies largely in the details: from the epic road trips to Usi’s common response to the sound of me grabbing the car keys off the counter (his tilting head asking “where are you going and can I come?”).
Usnea was curious and kind, ambitious, playful and goofy. All the traits I value most in a friend. He was so dang smart and a great listener, and not afraid to express his own desires, even when they clashed with mine. He died literally while the phone was ringing to an in-home euthanasia vet, and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. I think he was saying don’t bother, I got this, it’s time, I know it’s time.
And he lived a full life. We went on more adventures and explorations than I can begin to name. I think his favorite place was the beach, and I think my favorite place is also the beach.
I wrote this song about losing him. RIP bestie, maybe I’ll be with you again someday.
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